the Spider Girl

THE SPIDER GIRL

Written in October 2007, a month after I got an accident during the BSP Jamborette.

Location: Maasim, Sarangani Province 

Jojane Pearl H. Hiponia, IV- Milkyway

                Blindfolded and walking alone, that’s what most of us feel in a lifetime full of major risks and decisions. It might seem safer to remain stagnant but isn’t it more fulfilling if despite the fear of falling from a cliff and bruised knees, steps were taken?

                In the end, losing and mistakes won’t count. What matters most is the person we turned out to be. Not naïve but wise and beautifully molded by experiences.

                It was one of the greatest mornings. I woke up early and full of excitement as I prepared all my stuffs needed fro my stay at the BSP (Boy Scout of the Philippines) Camp. I was one of the Roverettes,lady scouts joined in the BSP whose our school had allowed to participate the Scout Jamboree and Kawan Holiday Cum, Eco Camp at Maasim,Sarangani Province.

                Me and my colleagues chatted and previewed how the campsite looked like as we ride on a dump truck heading to our destination.

                “Maybe we’ll get tanned while staying there.” Says my friend.

                “I, myself will decrease my weight and become too sexy as the camp ends!” I uttered dreamingly.

                So nearly in the afternoon, we reached the place already tired and thirsty. It feels so relaxing to see the ocean’s beauty as its soft breeze gently kissed our dehydrated skin.

                As the activities started, we always thrill of discovering new places and learning new one that will surely add our knowledge. There is no electricity in the campsite, so all our mobile phones were useless. We got into different places and admire the nature’s beauty while hiking and doing community service as part of the training.

                On our third day, we have to undergo a scout commando training to fulfill the whole scheduled activities. I, once dreamed of overcoming my fears and experiencing things which girls don’t usually do grabbed the challenge that I know will strengthen my being.

                We were queuing ourselves and crawled to the muddy ground passing through the mini-tunnels and obstacles they prepared. We even race to know one’s ability and laugh thunderously after discovering our new look—bodies tainted with mud (looks like we’re flood victims.)

THE FREE-FALLING MOMENT

Spider’s Web: this is the second obstacle that thrilled me a lot. It was a rope-made structure about more than twenty(20) feet high. It was hanging freely on a large branch of a tree and already wet. I, then known to be a risk-taker challenged to clim it with no safety belts or harness. Since the staffs assigned specifically the Army troops and BSP officials didn’t provide one.)

“Kaya mo na Jane! Lapit nalang!” (Go Jane! You can make it! Few steps more!).

Those were the loud cheers and howling of my colleagues as I was making my way down (finally) while clinging tightly on the rope.

“One…two…three…” I counted my steps carefully, and then paused for a rest. I am now 12 feet above the ground. “Alas! I’ll conquer it!”  But just in time when my feet actions its next step, I suddenly slipped, lost control and felt weakness in my hand. Then what followed was the worst nightmare of my life.

“Blag!” A loud crash filled the air as I fell on the sun-baked ground (almost rocky). A sudden blackout covered me for a few seconds. Then I opened my eyes and tried to move a little bit. The crowd came clashing and surrounded me. Some were shocked and terrified as if I’m dead. But one great presence during that time was a certain BSP official of Tampakan, an assigned officer, who didn’t help at all. Instead of helping me stand he immediately shows off his camera and aim to shoot me with several photos as I gasp for air of life. well in a moment, our school troop leader finally managed to guide me to stand slowly. I then felt an excruciating pain down to my spine, my lower body shakes and a little numb on my back. Its as if the blood’s gushing from one of my backbones and scattering to my ribs.

I feel so ashamed but cant hide the pain. I managed to remain calm after a few minutes while waiting for a vehicle that would take me to the clinic.

AT THE CLINIC

                The medics advised me to wait till morning because of the unavailability of the ambulance that would rush me to the hospital downtown. I bathed myself alone and cried a pain every time I bend to reach the container full of water to wash away the dirt on my body.

                The ambulance came the next day and I was taken to General Santos City for an X-ray. I was expecting that I will be admitted to a hospital but we immediately go back to the camp site where the event resumed until the last day. I took series of sunset shoots on which I entitled THE LAST SUNSET. (Photos can be viewed in this blog.)

                HOME AT LAST

                The four day camp was finally over and we got home. my parents immediately took me to an Orthopedic since the their was no proper diagnosis about the X-ray that we had in GenSan, lack of action by responsible authority of course!

                The doctor diagnosed me having a Lumbar Compression Fracture specifically in my L1. spine. This is a crucial state wherein a patient could have been paralyzed on the spot of accident. He then advised me not to harsh moves or stand often unless a brace or a surgery will be done. I was admitted to the hospital right away.

THE GLOOMY DAYS

                tears of defeat fell from my eyes as they moved me into the hospital room. How can I live normally? What about my future? I am really aware that we’re financially drained. Even I am the only daughter, my parents still have to work hard just to earn money for my medications. (hey! We’re not rich as others thought.)

                I always found myself alone…

                Always thinking about what life would be  now that im almost disabled.

                I can’t do things normally like I did before. The hang outs with friends…. Joining competitions in and out of school… playing my sport…or even my dream of entering the PNPA (Philippine National Police Academy) or the PMA (Philippine Military Academy). These are all VANISHED! It’ll be forever a dream. (and im quite sure others will laugh upon knowing this.)

THE AFTER LIFE

                Now I go to school with braces attached on my body. I’m still attending the class despite of my doctor’s advice to stay in bed for four months. I have to go on and receive my high school diploma in just a few months. It would be painful on my part if I stay on that bed and think of my classmates on our graduation day. I don’t wanna left behind… I want to go to college too… and repair my life.

                There are others who gave negative criticisms on my plight. Some blamed me saying, “Ang laki ng katawan mo, pero ang liit ng utak mo!” … others would utter “Buti nga sa’yo” and grin upon seeing me.

                Somehow there are persons who changed my gloomy sunsets with brighter mornings. They filled the empty space that I used to occupy alone… wiped my tears and changed it into smiles…and sheltered me with love and care. I appreciate those friends who stayed and never turned their back after seeing my condition. I can say that I regained enough strength in facing a more tough challenges (especially the below the belt insults of people and the plastic heads).

                With fingers crossed…. I know that time will heal this wound… that with GOD’s eternal love I will fulfill his plans for me.

And today, here I am sitting in front of the computer. I had just celebrated another year of my life as I shared the past that created my name as SPIDER GIRL.